Tag: Sarah Palin

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 7

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Well Dearies, The Bundy Militia Stand-Off in Oregon has entered a new phase. Ammon Bundy and 5 of his posse were arrested en route to a community meeting in the city of John Day. Lavoy Finicum was shot and killed.  As someone tweeted, at least he provided his own body-bag (he was Blue Tarp Man – sitting under a blue tarp with a gun in his lap, during the Occupation).  Here’s hoping that Orange will be the new Bundy Black, but it’s anyone’s guess where things go from here. Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts even made Ammon his very own doughnut…

Voodoo Donuts Ammon Bundy DOnut

Speaking of Orange being the new Black,  Karma has finally bitten David Dalieden and Sandra Merritt in the butt. Harris, Texas DA Devon Anderson turned the tables on these slimy creators of the notorious fake Planned Parenthood videos, and instead of indicting that organization, indicted Dalieden and Merritt, for tampering with government files. Their Center for Medical Progress twitter feed has gone silent. In all fairness, this delicious and ironic twist has been a long time in coming. When I open Miss Myrtle’s  Heroes Hall of Fame, Ms. Anderson will be one of the first Inductees.

david-daleiden-susan-merritt-e1453764045101

In the Bizzaro World of Donald Trump, Cirque Du Toupee just received an endorsement from Sarah Palin, and although I can not decipher its total meaning (cracking the Enigma Code was tougher – with apologies to Alan Turing), have no doubt that she is angling for a spot on The Ticket. Trump/Palin 2016 has a certain je ne sais quoi ring to it. Ms. Palin had to leave her endorsement press conference to go bail out here wayward son Track Palin, who had just been arrested for domestic violence. But not before she blamed President Obama for her son’s behaviour and PTSD. Sarah has been busy, what with her unmarried daughter Bristol, spokesperson for Abstinence Is Us, giving birth to a second grandchild over the Holidays.  I for one, am salivating at the prospect of a Trump/Palin run. They are indeed The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Trump Palin Im With Stupid Track Palin1 palin-pregnant-daughter

Meanwhile, back here in Beautiful British Columbia, Premier Christy Clark, our very own Conservative-In-Liberal-Clothing is busy posing for cheesy photo-ops with Search and Rescue Teams whose budgets SHE CUT…crowing about the paltry thousands she is graciously giving them. She is also trying to ram through the Kinder Morgan Pipeline Project, transporting Alberta Tar Sands sludge through much of pristine BC, to the Coast, and on to the rapacious Asian market. This is the same broad who wanted to close a major connector, The Burrard Bridge, for yoga classes. Talk about downward dog…

Christy Clark BC Tourism Caribou

While I usually rant about one corporation or another, have given this space to the imploding Republican Party. The Grand Old Party has Teddy Roosevelt, and so many others, turning over in their graves. As Republican Party National Committee Chairman Reince Prebus so blithely tweets… “Great job Gov Nikki Haley! Fantastic balance and substance. Our party is the new, young and diverse party!” – in response to President Obama‘s final State of the Nation address. Balance and substance are the OPPOSITE of what the GOP is. The carnage wrought upon American cities and states by GOP troglodytes  is truly breath-taking…The Bigger The Lie! The GOP has lost its moral compass.

GOP Toon NEw Yorker  PRO REPUBLICAN REINCE PREBUS

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, who is trying to spin his way out of the fact that he poisoned tens of thousands of Flint residents, many of whom are from the black community, while crowing about saving millions as a tough Republican wise-ass. Social advocate and brilliant documentary filmmaker Michael Moore has launched an #ArrestGovSnyder twitter campaign that we all must support.The Flint Water Crisis underscores the fact that the GOP have not only lost their way, they have lost their moral compass. Re-christened his twitter moniker @onetoughnerd to @onetoughturd.

Flint Pat Bagely

Joining him in Hell, is James Monroe High School Principal Brendan Lyons. Lyons forced the resignation of beloved and award-winning teacher Tom Porton, in the Bronx. Porton, who is a National Teachers Hall of Fame Inductee, has been honored by the City of New York and The Kennedy Centre for The Arts. His legion of student-supporters grows every year. His ground-breaking and life-changing AIDS activism put him at loggerheads with Brendan Lyons, who needs to go and stand in the corner! Meanwhile, Donald Trump BFF Vladimir Putin was found “almost certain” to have ordered the polonium poisoning of yet another political critic Alexander Litvinenko by the official British inquiry into his murder. The bodies of journalists and others who oppose Putin’s quest for nothing less than total world domination, continue to pile up.

  Tom Porton      Brendan Lyons   Litivenenko 

Honestly Dearies, my head is exploding and it is only January 29, 2016. The Iowa Caucus is on Monday. There are times when I wish I could just go into a coma until November 8. Must break out the Talisker and have a dram or 5. Part 8 to follow soon.

Many Thanks To:  Looney Tunes, Daryl Cagle @dcagle Barry Blitt http://barryblitt.com/, The New Yorker @NewYorker Pat Bagley @Patbagley

Links You May Find Interesting:  @Ammon_Bundy  @christyclarkbc  @CtrMedProgress @onetoughnerd

PLEASE tweet me your suggestions for new Inductees: @MissMyrtle2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 4

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Al Jazeera     Mohame Fahmy    Sheikh Tamim Bin Hamad Al Thani

Al Jazeera and the Govt of Qatar Dearies, have always been a fan of Al Jazeera for shining a light on the world through the Arab lens, but that has changed with the disgraceful manipulation of Mohamed Fahmy & his colleagues Peter Grieste and Baher Mohamed in Egypt. The state-owned international news service put their journalists in harm’s way, then hung them out to dry. For ruling family leader Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani, suing the Egyptian govt mid-trial is act of vindictive, ignorant & dangerous minds. SHAME ON THEM! Even Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott was able to affect the release of Peter Grieste. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, defector and former Minister of Foreign Affairs, John Baird and current Minister of Foreign Affairs Rob Nicholson,  have failed miserably in efforts to obtain freedom for Mohamed Fahmy. AM ASHAMED TO BE CANADIAN!

Monte McNaughton      Vito Barbieri     Nevada-Assemblywoman-Michele-Fiore-R-official-Facebook-page-800x430

Monte McNaughton, homophobic Conservative MPP suggested that openly lesbian Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne should not be discussing proposed sex-ed curriculum with parents. Ms. Wynn responded with forceful intelligence, cutting McNaughton off at the knees.  Monte & his colleagues need to be sent to their rooms for a very long Time Out. Joining Monte in Time Out is Idaho Republican Rep Vito Barbieri, who thinks that women’s vaginas are connected to their stomachs. This should enable them to swallow a small camera for OBGYN exams, suggests the Capo di Tuto Medicos. Honestly, I can’t make this stuff up. The GOP are indeed the Party that keeps on giving, as underscored by Nevada Republican Rep Michele Fiore. Ms. Fiore assures us that cancer is a fungus, that can be washed away with baking soda! Rated No.1 Legislator by the Nevada Policy Research Institute (??!!??), Ms. Fiore is the poster girl for a state that is ground-zero for nuclear testing, home to the Mustang Ranch and that dystopian Disneyland – Las Vegas. Honestly Dearies, sooo wish there were a vaccination for STUPID…

RudyGiuliani   Phil Robertson   Tom COrbin

Speaking of stupid, Rudy Giuliani is at it again, race-baiting Americans with “Obama does not love America”. This sorry excuse of a man has squandered whatever good will he earned after 9/11. Alarmingly, he has become the poster child for the reactionary, fascist face of the GOP. He has subverted the meaning of patriotism.

And then we have another Biggeth Dicketh, CEO of Small Corporate Dynasties, Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty. Phil has become a Fox News Go-To-Guy when it comes to talking about Radical Islam. My question is, do the ducks have a “Come to Jesus” moment before he and the Clan pump them full of lead?

South Carolina State Republican Senator Tom Corbin thinks that “women are a lesser cut of meat”… and should be kept barefoot and pregnant. He apparently directed these wise remarks to his colleague, GOP state senator Katrina Shealy, during a legislative dinner discussing domestic violence legislation. Methinks Senator Tom is the poster child for spaying and neutering…

Caribou  SNC Lavalin  Radical Brownies

Dearies, it doesn’t get any more cynical than the Alberta Endangered Species Conservation Committee. “Despite its name, the ESCC amounts to little more than an industrial development club, and it is directly responsible for delays in critical caribou protections. The ESCC is an initiative of the Government of Alberta’s Ministry of Sustainable Resource Development (SRD), and has a short list of extractive industrial members including the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers, two representatives from Alberta Forest Products Association, Alberta Fish and Game Association, Alberta Irrigation Projects Association and the Western Stock Growers’ Association” The Tar Sands destruction of arboreal caribou continues. By the by Dearies, when that great environmentalist Sarah Palin says that “caribou have to take one for the team”, this is what she means! Well it sure as hell isn’t my team…

Meanwhile in Quebec, that bastion of moral turpitude, SNC Lavalin Canada’s very own Halliburton, is facing charges of bribery and corruption. SNC Lavalin is alleged to have paid or offered millions to Muammar Gaddafi & his family in Libya, governments and individuals in Bangladesh and Canada, for construction, mining and other contracts. SNC Lavalin’s tentacles are everywhere. They are relatively new owners of CANDU Energy (Canadian nuclear reactors), acquired from the government’s Atomic Energy Canada. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN WITHOUT ANY DISCUSSION???

Breitbart    faux news radical-brownies_c0-10-640-383_s561x327

It would take a cage match to the death, to decide whether Breitbart or Faux News were the most reprehensible, but Breitbart is racking up the points with its meltdown over Oakland’s Radical Brownies. This is a group of 8 to 10-year-old girls study social activism, inspired in part by the 60s radical group the Black Panthers. Breitbart calls the Radical Brownies a “horrifying” development that is so “creepy and fascist” as to beggar belief” .” Be afraid America…be very afraid

Canada  MMIW  Veterans Slush Fund

There is a Special Place in Hell reserved for the Government of Canada, who are forcing survivors of St. Anne’s Residential School, that used an electric chair to torture students, to go back to court yet again.They are demanding the release of documents outlining the  physical and sexual abuse that took place and implicating staff members. The Residential School Scandal Is Canada’s Shame!

That same government under Prime Minister Stephen Harper who said that “Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women are really not on my radar”, refuses to launch a national inquiry into over 1,200 #MMIW. Meanwhile, House Eskimo, Environment Minister Leona Aglukkaq ignores the plight of her starving constituents in Nunavut… This Is Canada’s Shame!

The Harper Regime continues to fight its own Veterans on every front! When not using them for cynical photo ops, the PM, Veterans Affairs & his Ministers are busy denying Veteran’s health claims, shutting down services for Veterans and eviscerating their pensions. This Is Canada’s Shame!

Am stopping here Dearies…it is all too depressing. So many Inductees, so little time

Remember to Submit Your Nominations to @MissMyrtle2

Many Thanks to Raw Story,  Mike Hudema-Canadian Green Party,  APTN News

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame – Part 2

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Dearies, here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. Here are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Your Nominations Are Welcomed

Former Governor and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin  is the gift that keeps on giving. Her incoherent rambling speech at the recent Iowa Freedom Summit had folks rolling in the aisles. Methinks she is Speaking in Tongues. Governor Chris Christie has lost the respect he gained during Hurricane Sandy and continues to bumble his way towards a Presidential Run. He truly does remind us of Schultz in Hogan’s Heroes. And then there is that opportunistic fly weight John Baird. Canada’s Minister of Foreign Affairs is deserting Prime Minister Harper’s rapidly sinking ship. An early pension and lucrative job offers are on the horizon. In announcing his resignation in Parliament, Baird provoked the Michael Corleone hug from his Boss, Consigliere Harper. We know it was you Fredo!

John McCain, Sarah Palin  Chris Christie as Schultz   Harper Hugs Baird

Kim Kardashian’s Ass is also the gift that keeps on giving. It’s everywhere, every hour of every day. When it’s not shilling for some lamebrane product, its chillin with hubby Kanye West – that model of modesty and self-restraint. How, you may ask does an Ass get inducted into the RCIHOF? I will leave that to your imaginations.  Chuck Todd or Todd Chuckles as he is known in our house, is the host of Meet the Depressing, oops the Press. Dearies, methinks he should be arrested and charged with Pandering. You may not be aware of this, but that infamous wit, raconteur and paragon of virtue Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has been elected chairman of the African Union. If only the International Criminal Court could get their hands on him, for the genocide of his people…

Kim Kardashian   Chuck Todd  Mugabe

Speaking of Robert Mugabe Dearies, when I tweeted a response to Human Rights Watch’s Kenneth Roth, about Mugabe’s new appointment, the Mugabe Trolls came out in force. None was more self-righteous than George Kibe. George immediately responded with “take your ignorance and arrogance to hell.colonialists and scavangers have no place in africa.u r murderers and robbers.shame.”   When I countered that he, Mugabe and his cronies need only look into the mirror to find murderers and robbers, he lost it. Now keep in mind that this is a troll whose profile quotation is “love can turn the world”. Those who do not learn from history are definitely doomed to repeat it… Sigh. Congressman and former Vice Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan never ceases to amaze. This on-and-off darling of the Tea Party, just proposed over 1 billion dollars in legislation as new chairman of the Ways and Means Committee. How’s that for being a fiscal conservative and deficit hawk! Canada’s very own House Eskimo Leona Aglukkaq makes me ashamed to share citizenship. Our Minister of the Environment (the most cynical appointment ever) has demanded apologies from constituents who had the balls to point out the fact that seniors in her riding of Nunavut were starving to death and reduced to scavenging in dumpsters. SHAME ON HER AND SHAME ON CANADA!

George Kibe   r-PAUL-RYAN-large570     Leona Aglukkaq

Kinder Morgan that beacon of phosphorescent light in the oil biz, never ceases to amaze. From having elderly pipeline protesters arrested to flooding our TV screens with warm fuzzy PR ads about what responsible corporate citizens they are, there is no pristine environment that they aren’t willing to trash in order to make that almighty buck. Kinder Morgan Canada President Ian Anderson is a chump for the ages. Treasure Valley Wines, whose saccharine name belies a Chinese investment group that is buying up Australian and other wineries. These guys who also go by the name 1847 Winery, are the HSBC of vintners. SHAME ON Sue and John Curnow FOR SELLING OUT!  How could Target Canada have missed the mark so badly? That pusillanimous purveyor of stuff has gone back to the US with its tail between its legs, leaving thousands of employees and suppliers holding the bag. Oh, and let’s not forget… the Canadian taxpayer too.

Kinder Morgan   yaldara-july-28-breakouyt   Target Canada

There is a special place in Hell reserved for folks like Eric Dejaeger. The 67-year-old ex-priest was found guilty of sexually abusing children in Nunavut 30 years ago. The abuse of Canada’s First Nations and Inuit Peoples is our National Shame. The Residential School Scandal must never be forgotten and people like Dejaegar held accountable. Joining Dejaeger will be Jonathan Weisbard, the Assistant Attorney General, for demeaning the teacher wh o is suing the state after being raped and nearly killed after administering a test at an Arizona prison. In his report Weisbard wrote “Plaintiff wants to create an artificial impression that the ADOC officers knew she was in danger but she did not know, It makes no sense. Of course, if Plaintiff did appreciate the danger of her situation, as an employee, she could have done something about it.”. This man is a disgrace to the office, the state of Arizona, and humanity in general.  Finally, Boko Haram have taken us back to Stone Age. With their complete subversion of Islam, drug-fuelled hatred of women, peace and democracy, they make the Neanderthals look positively cultured. We must never forget to #BringBackOurGirls!

Eric Dejaeger    Jonathan Weisbard   Boko-Haram_0

Am going to stop here. Badly need a dram or 5. We have so many more Inductees to feature…stay tuned for Part 3

YOUR NOMINATIONS & COMMENTS ARE ENCOURAGED