Tag: British Columbia

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 8

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

OMG, Iowa Caucuses are really over and the “Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain” folks have spoken. Firstly, let me say that as a Canadian, this is one of the things I love about American politics. It is messy, it is exasperating, entertaining and for the most part, it is all out there. We Canucks are more politically anally retentive as demonstrated by the former fascist Stephen Harper government, which shut down all national debate and discussion…but I digress.

Donald Trump

Cirque Du Toupee was handed a humiliating defeat at the hands of Ted Cruz.  Showing fake humility when conceding, Donald Trump reverted to form in a relentless and hysterical twitter rant the next morning calling Cruz a liar and cheat, and demanding a do-over. Revealed for the sniveling whiner that he is, Cirque Du Toupee is heading for implosion. and its going to be UGE! Ted Cruz, that picture-perfect Tea Party evangelical prays to a GOP Jesus who is so hateful it is embarrassing. Perhaps he comes by that genetically.  Cruz’s father Rafael is a Cuban emigre and RWNJ evangelical preacher who encourages congregants to “tithe mightily”. Speaking of tithing mightily, Ted is married to Heidi Cruz, a Goldman Sachs investment manager. Needless to say. Goldman Sachs has been a big Cruz Campaign supporter. Add the fact that Ted is mucho unpopular in Congress and out, and he fits in perfectly into the GOP Clown Car.

Donald Tump Toon Varvel   Ted Cruz

Uncle Ben Carson DID NOT QUIT THE RACE but has yet to show up in New Hampshire. Apparently he flew to Florida because he needs a change of clothes, a nap and Plan B. Oh, and he’s furious with Ted Cruz…whose campaign apparently spread rumors that he had quit. Honestly Dearies, I can’t make this stuff up and it truly isn’t brain surgery. The GOP and GOP Clown Car are indeed The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Ben Carson

Here in Beautiful British Columbia, Conservative-In-Liberal-Clothing Christy Clark posed for yet another cheesy photo op after FINALLY being dragged kicking and screaming to sign legislation to preserve our Great Bear Rain Forest and the iconic Spirit Bear. First Nations, for whom the Rain Forest has been home for thousands of years, are also its guardians. As part of the Rainforest Solutions Project, they have relentlessly pursued The Great Bear Rainforest Order on our behalf. See the link to Elizabeth McSheffrey‘s excellent article in the National Observer, below. You know an election is on the horizon next year, because taking a page from the Fourth Reich & Stephen Harper playbook, warm fuzzy TV ads are playing relentlessly, telling us how wonderfully Christy has NOT been doing for BC children and families…The Bigger The Lie

Great Bear RainForest

WTF is up with the NFL? They are still partnered with that paragon of slave labor Papa John’s Pizza for the Super Bowl. Papa John’s Owner John Schnatter was successfully sued by New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, for amongst other things, wage theft. Shame on NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell & Co. Methinks we probably won’t be seeing any public service announcements about concussions, during the game…

Roger Goodell   PAPA JOHNSJohn Shnatter and Peyton Manning

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Shepherdsville Kentucky’s classy Mayor Scott Ellis who admitted to soliciting & receiving sex in return for helping parolees, but defiantly refused to resign. “I needed a blowjob” said Hiz Honor. His partners in crime, Bullitt County Sheriff’s Office  fired Detective Lynn Hunt after she uncovered enough evidence to arrest Ellis. Special Prosecutor Mark Shouse “went where the evidence took me” – NOT. The Good Ole’ Boys Club is alive and well in Shepherdsville Kentucky Y’All! Joining Ellis in hell is anti-abortion rights activist and sweet little old lady, Pat Lohman who secretly bought abortion clinics and lured in poor and vulnerable clients who thought they were Pro-Choice. Once there, potential clients were struck by the wrath of god and persuaded not to have an abortion. See the link to Petula Dvorak‘s article in the Washington Post, below. Am willing to bet my life that Pat Lohman would be horrified if you suggested that she take financial care of all of the poor babies she forces into this world. Hallelujah and pass the poverty!

Scott Ellis    Dvorak__1331454537890

Hell-bound too is Martin Shkreli, the Wall Street PharmaScum appeared before a congressional committee this week and smirked his way through the hearing about pharmaceutical price gouging and his companies Valeant Pharmaceuticals International Inc. and Turing Pharmaceuticals AG.  Of course Shkreli invoked the Fifth.  He later tweeted that committee-members were imbeciles. It is comforting to know that this scumbag will probably be convicted on unrelated federal fraud charges. Dare I suggest that Shkreli is a text-book narcissistic sociopath-which describes so many on Wall Street. Am sure his bravado will quickly fade in the general prison population with his new boyfriends…

Martin Shkreli AP_martin_shkreli_as_04_160204_4x3_992

Am nursing a migraine after discussing all of this buffoonery. There is never a shortage of Inductees, on the contrary too many and too little space.

PLEASE tweet me your suggestions for future Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame… Your input is invaluable! And Keep The Flag Flying @MissMyrtle2

Many Thanks to The Looney Tunes Show, Political Cartoonist Varvel, @NYDailyNews  Elizabeth McSheffrey @NatObserver @emcsheff  http://www.savethegreatbear.org/region/first_nations, Petula Devorak @petulad @washingtonpost http://wpo.st/HAS91 @RawStory

 

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 7

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Well Dearies, The Bundy Militia Stand-Off in Oregon has entered a new phase. Ammon Bundy and 5 of his posse were arrested en route to a community meeting in the city of John Day. Lavoy Finicum was shot and killed.  As someone tweeted, at least he provided his own body-bag (he was Blue Tarp Man – sitting under a blue tarp with a gun in his lap, during the Occupation).  Here’s hoping that Orange will be the new Bundy Black, but it’s anyone’s guess where things go from here. Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts even made Ammon his very own doughnut…

Voodoo Donuts Ammon Bundy DOnut

Speaking of Orange being the new Black,  Karma has finally bitten David Dalieden and Sandra Merritt in the butt. Harris, Texas DA Devon Anderson turned the tables on these slimy creators of the notorious fake Planned Parenthood videos, and instead of indicting that organization, indicted Dalieden and Merritt, for tampering with government files. Their Center for Medical Progress twitter feed has gone silent. In all fairness, this delicious and ironic twist has been a long time in coming. When I open Miss Myrtle’s  Heroes Hall of Fame, Ms. Anderson will be one of the first Inductees.

david-daleiden-susan-merritt-e1453764045101

In the Bizzaro World of Donald Trump, Cirque Du Toupee just received an endorsement from Sarah Palin, and although I can not decipher its total meaning (cracking the Enigma Code was tougher – with apologies to Alan Turing), have no doubt that she is angling for a spot on The Ticket. Trump/Palin 2016 has a certain je ne sais quoi ring to it. Ms. Palin had to leave her endorsement press conference to go bail out here wayward son Track Palin, who had just been arrested for domestic violence. But not before she blamed President Obama for her son’s behaviour and PTSD. Sarah has been busy, what with her unmarried daughter Bristol, spokesperson for Abstinence Is Us, giving birth to a second grandchild over the Holidays.  I for one, am salivating at the prospect of a Trump/Palin run. They are indeed The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Trump Palin Im With Stupid Track Palin1 palin-pregnant-daughter

Meanwhile, back here in Beautiful British Columbia, Premier Christy Clark, our very own Conservative-In-Liberal-Clothing is busy posing for cheesy photo-ops with Search and Rescue Teams whose budgets SHE CUT…crowing about the paltry thousands she is graciously giving them. She is also trying to ram through the Kinder Morgan Pipeline Project, transporting Alberta Tar Sands sludge through much of pristine BC, to the Coast, and on to the rapacious Asian market. This is the same broad who wanted to close a major connector, The Burrard Bridge, for yoga classes. Talk about downward dog…

Christy Clark BC Tourism Caribou

While I usually rant about one corporation or another, have given this space to the imploding Republican Party. The Grand Old Party has Teddy Roosevelt, and so many others, turning over in their graves. As Republican Party National Committee Chairman Reince Prebus so blithely tweets… “Great job Gov Nikki Haley! Fantastic balance and substance. Our party is the new, young and diverse party!” – in response to President Obama‘s final State of the Nation address. Balance and substance are the OPPOSITE of what the GOP is. The carnage wrought upon American cities and states by GOP troglodytes  is truly breath-taking…The Bigger The Lie! The GOP has lost its moral compass.

GOP Toon NEw Yorker  PRO REPUBLICAN REINCE PREBUS

There is a Special Place In Hell reserved for Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, who is trying to spin his way out of the fact that he poisoned tens of thousands of Flint residents, many of whom are from the black community, while crowing about saving millions as a tough Republican wise-ass. Social advocate and brilliant documentary filmmaker Michael Moore has launched an #ArrestGovSnyder twitter campaign that we all must support.The Flint Water Crisis underscores the fact that the GOP have not only lost their way, they have lost their moral compass. Re-christened his twitter moniker @onetoughnerd to @onetoughturd.

Flint Pat Bagely

Joining him in Hell, is James Monroe High School Principal Brendan Lyons. Lyons forced the resignation of beloved and award-winning teacher Tom Porton, in the Bronx. Porton, who is a National Teachers Hall of Fame Inductee, has been honored by the City of New York and The Kennedy Centre for The Arts. His legion of student-supporters grows every year. His ground-breaking and life-changing AIDS activism put him at loggerheads with Brendan Lyons, who needs to go and stand in the corner! Meanwhile, Donald Trump BFF Vladimir Putin was found “almost certain” to have ordered the polonium poisoning of yet another political critic Alexander Litvinenko by the official British inquiry into his murder. The bodies of journalists and others who oppose Putin’s quest for nothing less than total world domination, continue to pile up.

  Tom Porton      Brendan Lyons   Litivenenko 

Honestly Dearies, my head is exploding and it is only January 29, 2016. The Iowa Caucus is on Monday. There are times when I wish I could just go into a coma until November 8. Must break out the Talisker and have a dram or 5. Part 8 to follow soon.

Many Thanks To:  Looney Tunes, Daryl Cagle @dcagle Barry Blitt http://barryblitt.com/, The New Yorker @NewYorker Pat Bagley @Patbagley

Links You May Find Interesting:  @Ammon_Bundy  @christyclarkbc  @CtrMedProgress @onetoughnerd

PLEASE tweet me your suggestions for new Inductees: @MissMyrtle2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame – PART 5

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Carmen Miranda

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dearies, just when you think they couldn’t sink any lower, the GOP’s 47 Traitors send an Open Letter to The Leaders of Iran. The sheer hubris of this unprecedented move, is evident in its initiator, freshman Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton. He and his cohorts are educating the Ayatollah and his colleagues about what Treason looks like. The Gang of 47 want to undermine President Obama’s ongoing negotiations with Iran to find a peaceful solution to developing their nuclear program. Senator John McCain waffled on having signed the The Letter, saying that a snow storm prevented him from reading it thoroughly. This was after his meltdown in a Senate hearing that he presided over, while welcoming that great  humanitarian Henry Kissinger. You can’t make this stuff up…

47 Traitors   TOM COTTON ARNOLD   JohnMcCain

SHAME ON THE PRIME MINISTER! The discussion about the Gestapo-like Anti-Terrorism BillC-51 was derailed by Stephen Harper’s rant about women wearing the niqab in Canada, and what a subversion of women’s rights the niqab is. This was a bait and switch tactic of the lowest order, and Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau took the bait with some fairly disturbing rhetoric of his own. The Government has banned women from wearing the niqab at Citizenship Ceremonies AND the Prime Minister was frothing at the mouth when he stated that “it’s (the niqab) contrary to Canadian values and rooted in a culture that is anti-women.” Fly weight Minister of National Defense and Multiculturalism ( a dubious double portfolio if there ever was one) Jason Kenney has been taking this ball and running with it. Speaking of balls, how ironic that NONE of the Harper henchmen have any…

Harper Niqab  Niqab  Jason Kenney

By the way, Canadian Green Party Leader Elizabeth May advised via Twitter that Conservative Ministers and backbenchers were sniggering during a presentation by a prominent Civil Liberties advocate, during the BillC-51 debate. Speaking of the brilliant, dedicated and relentless Ms. May, I encourage every Canadian to sign a petition calling for her inclusion in ALL election debates. One of Canada’s most eloquent and thoughtful politicians deserves to be heard. Elizabeth May has more balls than the entire Conservative Caucus. Do you know the difference between a cactus and a caucus? The caucus has the pricks on the inside…but I digress

Elizabeth May

GOP Presidential Candidate Gov Scott Walker Scott Walker feels that “I can defeat ISIS because I defeated 100,000 union protesters”. This is disturbing and hysterically funny on a number of levels. Then of course, there is the confusion over Walker’s stance on Legal Status, Amnesty and The Path to Citizenship…. who knew that one man could take so many different positions on so many euphemisms. He is the Master of the  GOP Kama Sutra. The meteoric rise and fall of Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock was more aw shucks than anything else.  In his swan song, the modest and unrepentant Schock compared himself to Abraham Lincoln, amongst others. Methinks the Iron Bar Hotel and orange jumpsuits can’t be too far away.  Conservative MP Larry Miller told Muslim women who want to wear the niqab while taking the Canadian citizenship oath to “stay the hell where you came from.”.  Larry crawled out from under his rock to “apologize” for this ludicrous remark. Stephen Harper has yet to apologize for his…

Scott Walker    Aaron Schock  Larry Miller

Dearies, Microsoft Canada‘s Temporary Workers Program is just another example of the Harper Government’s failing pad-the-vote strategy. The “economic worker” plan as CICCitizenship and Immigration ads like to put it, hasn’t worked out so well for McDonalds or Target. Microsoft plans to hire mostly foreign workers for its new British Columbia Training Centre. SHAME ON THEM! Meanwhile, Canada’s very own Koch Tank – The Fraser Institute continues to spew forth the usual drivel including an hysterical chart comparing Alberta and Texas’ finances. It failed to make their point for them but did inspire some very funny comparisons between Rick Perry and Jim Prentice. And who can forget Barrick Gold Corp, that beacon of mining fiduciary and moral responsibility. They just added disgraced ex Foreign Minister John Baird and Newt Gingrich ( what adult in their right mind would keep the name Newt???) to the Board. Methinks All they need to do is entice Rush Limbaugh, and they’ll have The Three Stooges!

MICROSOFT     FRASER-inst-300-pix-08-FEB-21_bigger  Barrick John Baird  Newt Gingrich  Rush Limbaugh Three Stooges

Arkansas is indeed the Gift That Keeps On Giving. There is a Special Place in Hell reserved for Arkansas Rep Justin Harris and his wife. They “unofficially” adopted a young child, who when proving “difficult”, was “rehomed” to the care of their friend, a sexual predator, who then assaulted her. The Rep has also performed exorcisms on” difficult” children in their Sunday School. I would like to “rehome” Mr. and Mrs. Harris to the Arkansas Maximum Security Unit. Indiana Governor Mike Pence is also hell-bound for signing the “Religious Freedom” bill that is really an LGBT discrimination edict-the first in the nation, and a total moral abomination. Adolf Hitler would be so proud! And Hell is waiting for Benjamin Netanyahu. Bibi Dearest used the classic fear mongering card of saying that Israeli Arabs would turn the vote against his beloved Likud Party in the recent election. He squeaked by and is no doubt planning the murders of thousands more Gaza children and the total destruction of Palestine.

Justin Harris  Mike Pence SEA 101  Netanyahu

Dearies, after reading this, need to repair for a dram or 10. The #RectalCranialImpactionHallOfFame Needs to build an additional wing just to accommodate new Nominees. PLEASE SEND IN  YOUR suggestions and donations…they are greatly appreciated!