Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down
Dearies, here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. Here are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:
DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post has less written text and more photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.
SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction
Your Nominations Are Welcomed
Former Governor and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is the gift that keeps on giving. Her incoherent rambling speech at the recent Iowa Freedom Summit had folks rolling in the aisles. Methinks she is Speaking in Tongues. Governor Chris Christie has lost the respect he gained during Hurricane Sandy and continues to bumble his way towards a Presidential Run. He truly does remind us of Schultz in Hogan’s Heroes. And then there is that opportunistic fly weight John Baird. Canada’s Minister of Foreign Affairs is deserting Prime Minister Harper’s rapidly sinking ship. An early pension and lucrative job offers are on the horizon. In announcing his resignation in Parliament, Baird provoked the Michael Corleone hug from his Boss, Consigliere Harper. We know it was you Fredo!
Kim Kardashian’s Ass is also the gift that keeps on giving. It’s everywhere, every hour of every day. When it’s not shilling for some lamebrane product, its chillin with hubby Kanye West – that model of modesty and self-restraint. How, you may ask does an Ass get inducted into the RCIHOF? I will leave that to your imaginations. Chuck Todd or Todd Chuckles as he is known in our house, is the host of Meet the Depressing, oops the Press. Dearies, methinks he should be arrested and charged with Pandering. You may not be aware of this, but that infamous wit, raconteur and paragon of virtue Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has been elected chairman of the African Union. If only the International Criminal Court could get their hands on him, for the genocide of his people…
Speaking of Robert Mugabe Dearies, when I tweeted a response to Human Rights Watch’s Kenneth Roth, about Mugabe’s new appointment, the Mugabe Trolls came out in force. None was more self-righteous than George Kibe. George immediately responded with “take your ignorance and arrogance to hell.colonialists and scavangers have no place in africa.u r murderers and robbers.shame.” When I countered that he, Mugabe and his cronies need only look into the mirror to find murderers and robbers, he lost it. Now keep in mind that this is a troll whose profile quotation is “love can turn the world”. Those who do not learn from history are definitely doomed to repeat it… Sigh. Congressman and former Vice Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan never ceases to amaze. This on-and-off darling of the Tea Party, just proposed over 1 billion dollars in legislation as new chairman of the Ways and Means Committee. How’s that for being a fiscal conservative and deficit hawk! Canada’s very own House Eskimo Leona Aglukkaq makes me ashamed to share citizenship. Our Minister of the Environment (the most cynical appointment ever) has demanded apologies from constituents who had the balls to point out the fact that seniors in her riding of Nunavut were starving to death and reduced to scavenging in dumpsters. SHAME ON HER AND SHAME ON CANADA!
Kinder Morgan that beacon of phosphorescent light in the oil biz, never ceases to amaze. From having elderly pipeline protesters arrested to flooding our TV screens with warm fuzzy PR ads about what responsible corporate citizens they are, there is no pristine environment that they aren’t willing to trash in order to make that almighty buck. Kinder Morgan Canada President Ian Anderson is a chump for the ages. Treasure Valley Wines, whose saccharine name belies a Chinese investment group that is buying up Australian and other wineries. These guys who also go by the name 1847 Winery, are the HSBC of vintners. SHAME ON Sue and John Curnow FOR SELLING OUT! How could Target Canada have missed the mark so badly? That pusillanimous purveyor of stuff has gone back to the US with its tail between its legs, leaving thousands of employees and suppliers holding the bag. Oh, and let’s not forget… the Canadian taxpayer too.
There is a special place in Hell reserved for folks like Eric Dejaeger. The 67-year-old ex-priest was found guilty of sexually abusing children in Nunavut 30 years ago. The abuse of Canada’s First Nations and Inuit Peoples is our National Shame. The Residential School Scandal must never be forgotten and people like Dejaegar held accountable. Joining Dejaeger will be Jonathan Weisbard, the Assistant Attorney General, for demeaning the teacher wh o is suing the state after being raped and nearly killed after administering a test at an Arizona prison. In his report Weisbard wrote “Plaintiff wants to create an artificial impression that the ADOC officers knew she was in danger but she did not know, It makes no sense. Of course, if Plaintiff did appreciate the danger of her situation, as an employee, she could have done something about it.”. This man is a disgrace to the office, the state of Arizona, and humanity in general. Finally, Boko Haram have taken us back to Stone Age. With their complete subversion of Islam, drug-fuelled hatred of women, peace and democracy, they make the Neanderthals look positively cultured. We must never forget to #BringBackOurGirls!
Am going to stop here. Badly need a dram or 5. We have so many more Inductees to feature…stay tuned for Part 3
YOUR NOMINATIONS & COMMENTS ARE ENCOURAGED