Miss Myrtle’s End of Life Decision

Miss Myrtle’s End of Life Decision

Dear Family, Friends and Twitter Resistance Family,
Am an intensely private person, but the events of the past 5 years have made me revisit that fact. The World has changed forever, and we have changed with it.
Cancer has played a big part of my life for the past 20 years. Tree major cancer surgeries over that time period, each for a different cancer, have finally worn me down.
Am a fighter, not a quitter but my final surgery last November solved one problem, but created many more serious ones. Add to that while the 35 rounds of radiation a year ago solved no problems, it too created more serious ones.
Cancer research and surgery have blinkers on – they focus on narrow areas they are familiar with
Why has there been no research on the effects of chemo and radiation on menopausal and post-menopausal women??!!! But I digress.
Am so very lucky to live in a Country and a city where the Medical Assistance in Dying Program is an option

The Cancer on the Presidency has contributed to my bad health, and am willing to bet that it has affected you adversely too.
I have lived a long and interesting life. Have faced battles since being born as a premature baby. Am a fighter – Not a quitter, but have finally met a challenge I cannot win.
There is no way to sugar-coat this. Was in hospital for major cancer surgery, then Palliative Care at home. While the surgery killed my tumor, it also created more serious problem. I had an anal rectal carcinoma, and now have a stoma – colonoscopy bag.
My initial gut reaction (pun intended) when the surgeon made his case to have surgery, was no. The young arrogant surgeon laid it out this way: “ No surgery, 6months to a year to live. With surgery, complete cure and 10years to live.”
I initially said no, because my last major cancer surgery and chemotherapy regime resulted in an acquired brain injury in 2014. The brain injury went undiagnosed for a number of years, and turned my life upside down.
I kept falling and breaking things at different times. Broke my collarbone, wrist, fractured the kneecap, then a medial malleolus fracture of the ankle. Was in a full leg walking cast for 6 months.
Was wobbly on my feet, sometimes slurred my words, forgot to go to meetings, forgot what was said at meetings, forgot to pay bills, forgot appointments and forgot parts of speeches I’d been giving for years. Forgot to pay rent and was eventually evicted. Slept in my car and office. My behaviour was bizarre. I almost single-handedly turned a successful project into a failure.
Colleagues began whispering that I was on drugs or alcohol. I was eventually fired. It was only when a friend of mine forced me to tell her what wrong- she was sure something was was. City Councillor Adriane Carr immediately intervened. She introduced me to the Deputy Director of Social Development for the City of Vancouver. Jennifer Standeven held my hand and fast-tracked me for government financial and other support. She found a wonderful condo mixed-market apartment in the Olympic Village. I could walk almost everywhere and am close to buses and Sky Train and the Canada Line. In 150 steps, am on the seawall. The market value of my suite is over $2,500 per month. I pay $343 per month. Jennifer literally saved my life, and we are now good friends.
A year later, was finally diagnosed with the brain injury. Was fast-tracked for the GF Strong Acquired Brain Injury program. AS an out-patient went three times a week. For the next year, learned how to walk, talk, be steady on my feet and so much more. GF Strong is the gold-standard for rehab in North America. Mine was an invisible wound. When I’d walk into the rehab, people were whizzing around in their wheelchairs, shouting “Hi, have a good one!”. People with no arms, no legs, both, a Pakistani woman whose face was destroyed with acid. They all inspired me to stop feeling sorry for myself – and kick my own butt (while I still had one).
I have finally found the fight I could NOT win. I would rather go with all of my mental faculties in tact, than face a long, drawn out painful death, where I would end up hating everyone.
I am proud to say that I am donating my body to University of British Columbia Medical School for teaching and research. Truly hope that All of You Will Consider doing the same thing. The need is so great, not just for organs but for bodies.
That being said, as my extended family, I send you the biggest hugs and Much Love,
Miss Myrtle (aka Pat Bayes – our secret),

Three Mass Murders in One Week – In Trump’s America

It’s hard to describe the range of emotions we feel at this moment. Deep sadness, shock, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, revulsion, horror, rage. We, your Canadian cousins, share those feelings.

Racist-In-Chief, White Supremacist-In-Chief Donald Trump, encourages these very attacks at his frequent Nuremberg 2.0 Rallies and in his daily Twitter and TV comments. He also distances himself from them, accusing Democrats of causing the turmoil. His anti-immigrant, anti-people of color dog whistles are no longer subtle. His base knows what he’s talking about. Trump’s flying monkeys delivered the same Joseph Goebbels propaganda talking-points across Sunday TV news programs today.

Putin’s GOP talking heads, joined White House advisers like Mick Mulvaney and Kelly Anne Conway in gaslighting Americans yet again. Make no mistake, the Republicans have become the American White Supremacist Party. Make no mistake, this is all part of Vladimir Putin’s Long Game – Destroy America From Within.

The Kremlin has directly bankrolled the NRA, its leaders, GOP politicians, armed militias and Alt Right fringe groups, with cash. Indirectly, Putin has weaponized the internet and social media – the platforms of choice for these Second Amendment Bible-thumping extremists. And let’s be clear, these extremists ARE Domestic Terrorists. They are White Supremacist Domestic Terrorists.

Anarchist, Trumpanzee and Putin Proxy Steve Bannon, was one of the Vice Presidents of the SLC hybrid Cambridge Analytica Aggregate IQ, the Big Data firm that Robert and Rebekah Mercer created. While he was working with Kellyanne Conway, Brad Parscale and others on the Trump Campaign, Bannon was also working with Nigel Farage, Arron Banks and others, on the British BREXIT debacle. Through him and the Brexit Party, Putin helped install Kremlin hack Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, ousting Theresa May.

The ubiquitous Steve Bannon has also been fanning the flames of White Supremacist Populism in Europe: Italy (Matteo Salvini) France (Marine Le Pen), Germany (AfD Bjoern Hoecke) and Hungary( Prime Minister Viktor Orban). Anarchy after all, is chaos, and creating chaos is Steve Bannon and Vladimir Putin’s most effective weapon. 

Vladimir Putin was a KGB intelligence officer for 16 years before becoming the head of the FSB, the post-Soviet incarnation of the KGB, under the late President Boris Yeltsin. He was “re-elected” for a fourth term as Russian President, in March 2018. There is nothing that Putin wants more, than to re-absorb the former Soviet satellite states, preside over the demise of America and Britain, and Make Russia Great Again. That – and become Emperor For Life.

We are living through Undeclared World War Three…

Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin – Stalin 2.0

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Poll 46

It’s Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Poll 46. YOU pick those who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck & dumbf**ked. Some Nominees appear frequently in the poll. Most are men. No explanation needed.

There are not enough words to Thank Aussie Cousin David Rowe, for permission to use his brilliant political cartoon as Miss Myrtle’s RCIHOF avatar. Tip of the hat to former Guantanamo Prosecutor Colonel Morris Davis, for coining the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction…

It is impossible to exclude Traitor-In-Chief, Racist-In-Chief, Fake President Donald Trump from any RCIHOF Poll. His daily Twitter meltdowns, press gaggle comments and Nuremberg 2.0 Rallies provide more than enough fodder for alarm and ridicule. He drags us, kicking and screaming, into his endless 24/7/365 dystopian nightmare.

The past two weeks are no exception. Trump has relentlessly targeted Black Democrats with overtly racist rants. You don’t need to be a psychiatrist to see that his unhinged screeds always target those of whom he is most afraid. He creates trending hashtags for his victims. Most recently four freshman Congress members, all women, became “The Squad”. AOC – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley and Rashida Tlaib, drew the Wrath of Trump.

Rashida Tlaib, Ayanna Pressley, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar

The racist dog-whistles to his base, that these women ” Hate America” and are conspiring with America’s enemies, to destroy the Republic, take a page from the Joseph Goebbels playbook. Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty, has become Trump’s default response to critics and those he fears. Crooked Hillary, Fake News, Sleepy Joe are just a few of his gems. His base eat this stuff up. All four of these lawmakers have received hundreds of death threats, some of them credible. Trying to divide Dems and the Nation, is one of the aims.

House Oversight Committee Chairman Elijah Cummings also incurred the Wrath of Trump, as his Committee criticizes the Trump Administration for it’s Family Separation policy at the Southern Border, and has subpoenaed Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner emails and texts, for its ongoing Trump Family corruption investigations. The Committee recalled former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, who gave damning public testimony against the President Trump re the Mueller Report. Trump attacked Cummings on Twitter on July 27, tweeting that “Cumming(sic) District is a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess. If he spent more time in Baltimore, maybe he could help clean up this very dangerous & filthy place”, and generally denigrating Baltimore itself.

From left, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., House Oversight and Reform Committee Chairman Elijah Cummings, D-Md., House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff, D-Calif., and House Judiciary Committee Chair Jerrold Nadler, D-N.Y., hold a newss conference after the back-to-back hearings with former special counsel Robert Mueller who testified about his investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, July 24, 2019. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Trumpanzee and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell earned new hashtags this week – #MoscowMitch and #MoscowMitchMcTreason. He successfully blocked a bipartisan bill from Amy Klobuchar and James Lankford, providing Election 2020 security and integrity. The normally unruffled McConnell called these nicknames “McCarthyism”. How ironic, in invoking Joe McCarthy’s “Witch Hunt”, which looked for “Reds UNDER the bed”, Mitch and his wife Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao, are actually IN bed with them.

Adam Zyglis toon @adamzyglis Mitch, Elaine, Xi Jinping

McConnell directly helped lift Obama Sanctions on Russia. Mitch McConnell staff actively lobbied Russia and Putin Oligarch Oleg Deripaska’s company RUSAL, who are now building a $200,000 million aluminum mill in #MoscowMitch’s home state of Kentucky. Trump Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao has long-standing family business ties to the Xi Jinping regime, in China. She and her father are share-holders in a number of American projects, and while she agreed to divest her interests in them, she has not. The Cindy Yang “Pay to Play” scandal at Mar A Lago has connections to Chao that are being investigated. Yang is being called a Chinese Asset.

Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao and Cindy Yang at Mar A Lago

If you see a thread connecting all four of Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Poll 46 Nominees, you are correct. Vladimir Putin’s sticky fingers are everywhere – From Putin’s GOP to Bolshevik Buffoon Boris Johnson. Putin just installed Johnson as the new Prime Minister of Great Britain, ensuring a swift Brexit – withdrawal of the UK, from the European Union, and the destruction of British Democracy.

This Blog was designed to help you choose your Nominee for Poll 46. There is no All of the Above option. Pour a dram or glass of bubbly. Try not to get depressed. Vote and Retweet the Poll. Tweet me your Nominee suggestions for Poll 47 @missmyrtle2.

@MissMyrtle2 in Twitter Jail Part 1 Feb 8 2019 – The Rachel Maddow Show

Normally, I would be parsing the Rachel Maddow Show for my Tweeps on Twitter tonight, as I do every weeknight. Sadly, my Twitter account has been temporarily suspended. That is a story for another time. Am going to do the parsing here:

THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW — Pictured: (l-r) — (Photo by: Ilya Savenok/MSNBC)

Rachel is on fire, following up the ground-breaking post by Amazon founder and Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos. His bombshell revelations about Mueller – cooperator, Trumpanzee David Pecker, and his media company AMI, threatening to expose sexually explicit photos and news about Bezos’ private life, have far-reaching repercussions.

Rachel gives context to the fact Robert Mueller had entered into a Plea Agreement with National Enquirer publisher David Pecker, that would mean no prosecution in return for his truthful testimony and cooperation, related to Donald Trump. That Agreement was entered into, based on the rule that Pecker & AMI must NOT commit any criminal acts in the interim before the cases he is assisting with, are fully prosecuted and discharged.

Pecker predictably picked the wrong folks to try and outsmart. What Jeff Bezos did, was to not only reveal the threats against him, but the fact that his own reputable private investigators had discovered Pecker and AMI’s connection to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman.

This is the same Mohammed bin Salman who arranged the murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi. The same financial resource for Donald Trump, Jared Kushner and the rest of the Trump Crime Family. Buying good PR meant that AMI published The New Kingdom, a glossy ad mag for bin Salman. Pecker sought out that business, through Trump.

Time Person of the Year 2018 Jamal Khashoggi

The sheer hubris of thinking that their blackmail business model would work on The Richest Man in the World, and other investigative journalists, dovetails perfectly with that of the Traitor-in-Chief, fake president Donald Trump. They are mobsters. Just like Vladimir Putin.

Trying to silence the Washington Post, and its ongoing investigations into Trump-Russia Collusion, the Trump-Russia Conspiracy, the Trump Corporation, the Trump Foundation, the murder of Jamal Khashoggi and the oppression of dissidents and activists within Saudi Arabia, might work elsewhere. Not in America. Not even in the America that is under relentless attacks by Enemies Foreign and Domestic. Democracy Truly Dies In Darkness…

Today’s contentious appearance before the House Intelligence Committee, by “Acting” Attorney General Matthew Whitaker, is part of the same attempt to subvert Democracy, and allow an installed puppet-government to continue it’s “Domestic” destruction of American institutions, including The Constitution.

Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions with Matthew Whitaker

What gives me hope, is that Robert Mueller and His Team, working with other judicial and law enforcement agencies across America, is building the most critical far-reaching and prosecutable case possible together. They are being aided by the best investigative journalists, allies around the Word and concerned citizens like you and me. The very reason that their efforts will eventually succeed, is that this is NOT Russia, China, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela or other entrenched autocracies.

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 9 – Update

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

twitter-logo

F**K TWITTER! Part 2

Since taking out my frustrations about constantly being suspended after strong anti- Vladimir Putin tweets in a blog-post on October 5, 2016, much has happened. https://missmyrtle2.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/miss-myrtles-rectal-cranial-impaction-hall-of-fame-part-9/.

Just before Halloween of that year, posted the following tweet with this pic of Putin and the comment “Sometimes It Just Sucks Being #vladimirputin #EverydayVampireProblems”

Putin Dracula Robin Lawson

Immediately my Twitter account was suspended again – this time for over 72 hours.

On October 19, 2016 – two weeks prior to this account lock, had concluded that Twitter (Canada) had a serious security issue: Russia. Never received any replies to my frantic requests that a real person contact me, not just a Twitter bot. I reached out to a business acquaintance high up at Google. He immediately connected me directly with the new Managing Director of Twitter Canada. Rory Capern has since mysteriously left the company. We talked via phone and emailed the week of October 19.

Capern connected me to his Director of Content, Christopher Doyle and his tech team. All of them had me answer many questions and ignored my responses and my clearly listed concerns. They inferred I was wearing a tin-foil hat. On October 21, the big East Coast Denial of Service (DDoS) Bot-Net hack occurred, affecting access to websites, social media, hundreds of corporations, infrastructure service providers, government agencies and others.

After the Halloween 2016 account lock-out, had multiple suspensions, well into the Spring of 2017. Had been tweeting relentlessly about the Syrian Genocide and the roles that monsters Putin and Assad were playing in it. Tweeted about Putin planning to invade Ukraine after annexing Crimea, and co-opting Netanyahu in Israel and Erdogan in Turkey. Included Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev in some of those tweets. Also Putin Puppet General Mike Flynn. Used hashtags like #BackToTheGulag and #MakeRussiaGreatAgain

Always got the same automated response from Twitter:

Hello,

Your account is now unlocked, and we’re sorry for the inconvenience.

Twitter has automated systems that find and remove automated spam accounts and it looks like your account got caught up in one of these spam groups by mistake. This sometimes happens when an account exhibits automated behavior in violation of the Twitter Rules (https://twitter.com/rules).

Again, we apologize for the inconvenience. Please do not respond to this email as replies will not be monitored.

Thanks,

Twitter Support

My account was NEVER unlocked after receiving those messages. I had to bombard Rory Capern and Christopher Doyle with emails (to which they never responded), until 4 -7 days later, my account would finally be unlocked.

I lost over 5,000 REAL Followers as a result of the constant account suspensions (part of the hack attack) and have never been able to regain them, or rebuild that momentum. After Spring 2017 the account locks stopped. Maybe Twitter FINALLY improved its cyber security efforts.

In February and April of 2017, I posted Mike Luckovich cartoons re Putin, Trump, the GOP and James Comey: My account was locked soon after both times:

DT Putin In Bed Toon Mike Luckovich  DT Putin Comey I need Loyalty ML June 2017

Kept a running riff going on the Boris and Natasha TV cartoon characters in the much-beloved Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.  Made Putin Fearless Leader, Melania Natasha Fatale, and Trump Boris Badenov. Was often shut down after tweeting them:

Boris&Natasha Screw Amerika:
Putin: My Evil Plan is Working Bwahaha
Melania: #FlynnLies #PenceLied
Trump: And #Snowdon’s tied up with a bow

Boris and Natasha1           Boris Badenov NoGoodNik

My biggest concern is that Putin, in addition to weaponizing social media to spread dezinformatsiya – Fake News and cause global chaos, is also shutting down critics NOT just in Russia, but around the World. Miss Myrtle is just a tiny fish, caught up in a gigantic  Russian Bot algorithmic cyber net.

Twitter Canada, Facebook Canada and other social media platforms in this country, have NEVER been held to account for their failure to protect users from Russian bots not just spreading Fake News, but also stealing their private and financial information. Our CRTC (The Canadian Radio Television and Telecommunications Commission is a regulatory agency for broadcasting and telecommunications) per usual, it has its head in the sand. Wake Up Canada!

At least the House and Senate committees are looking into this situation. No matter how hard the Republicans try to obstruct the work being done, am hopeful the truth will prevail here.

This situation is also related to the recent Kremlinesque Trump Administration attack on Net Neutrality. Trump appointee Ajit Pai has gutted the FCC ( Federal Communications Commission, an independent agency of the US government created by statute to regulate interstate communications by radio, television, wire, satellite, and cable). He reversed consumer internet protections. It has been confirmed that during the Public Commentary period on the FCC’s website, over 1 MILLION Russian-based bots swarmed the comments page.

Shutting down Freedom of Speech and the freedom to choose the news and other content that you consume, is what Putin and other dictators do. It allows him to spread his propaganda 24/7/365 and consolidate his power. He has run basically unopposed in the current Russian “election” and will be elected Czar For Life. If that isn’t Back To The Gulag, what is…

This discussion is far from over. Putin’s megalomaniacal plan to destroy America from within, affects us all. It affects Canada even more so, given our geography and our history. We live in perilous times, and the young entrepreneurs, the Jack Dorseys and Mark Zuckerbergs of Silicon Valley, never dreamed in a million years that their innovative platforms for social communication would ever be weaponized to perpetrate evil on a global scale.

We cannot and must not let Putin’s Useful Idiot, Donald Trump succeed. The battlefield has changed, but we must acknowledge that We Are At War.

To be continued…

*** Please share your Twitter – Russian Bot experiences @missmyrtle2***

 

Where are Batman and Robin When You Really Need Them? In Honor of Batman Day 2019, Here Is A 2017 Blog Post

Batman Robin and Villains

Have been feeling a bit depressed, irritable and overwhelmed lately, truth be told. Haven’t You?

The World is going to Hell in a Basket of Deplorables. The 2016 Armageddon Election that installed a Traitor, Brexit, terrorist attacks, the Parkland School and New Zealand Mosque Shootings, Putin, Xi, MBS, North Korea, Syria, Palestine, Yemen, South Sudan, Ukraine, Crimea invasions, bombings, floods, earthquakes, forest fires, teachers strikes, drone strikes, melting glaciers, doomed species, political gridlock and enmity, cancer, suicide, death and destruction: The list goes on and on and on…It’s in our faces 24/7/365.

While listlessly draped on the sofa watching TV, quite by accident, flipped onto an old episode of Batman. Holy Bat Cave!!!

BatCave Adam-West-Batman-Burt-Ward-Robin-Batcave

Laughed so hard for the next half hour, at the beautiful uncomplicated silliness of it all, and also cried for the sheer joy of remembering a kinder, gentler time. As a kid, never ever missed a single original show, and the absurdly wonderful humor is even funnier today, than it was then.

So many thoughts and memories: The Villains. Who can forget The Joker, Catwoman, The Penguin and The Riddler?  Their dastardly evil plots were quite benign by today’s standards. The sheer joy with which Cesar Romero, Eartha Kitt,  Julie Newmar, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin and others played their roles, was not lost on us kids. No scenery was left unchewed, no cliché held sacred…KAPOW!!!

Eartha Kitt Caesar Romero Batman Catwoman  Batman the Joker Pie

The sets were absurdly simple and whimsical. Yes, they had a sense of whimsy without cutting-edge technology getting in the way. The props were hysterical. From the looks of the old TV episodes, it must have cost $50 to make a show, excluding actors salaries (which by today’s standards would be absurdly low). That includes costumes and make-up. The wonderful cheesieness of it all, enhanced the shared experience. WE HAD TO USE OUR IMAGINATIONS.

Reminds me of the early Dr. Who and the TARDIS/Phone box from Britain’s BBC. The austere rough-hewn simplicity and boundless fun of its earlier incarnation was equally and wonderfully cheesy. These were after all, the same folks who brought us Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men.

DoctorWho_Hartnell_2741758k Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men

The sheer darkness and introspection of what followed, the Big Screen versions of Batman and Robin, have to a large degree mirrored the ever darkening lens of world events. Early magical Super Heroes like Adam West and Burt Ward, have been supplanted by the likes of Michael Keaton, Christian Bale and Robert Downey Jr., worthy actors in their own right, commanding a larger, brooding stage.

michael-keaton Batman  christian-bale Batman

The gazillion dollar budgets for each new Batman movie and its Super Hero cousins, become more obscene with every film. These budgets could lift several Third World countries out of poverty permanently. But I digress…

The witty repartee flew fast and furious with each Batman TV episode. Even as kids, we knew it was funny and as  an adult, it is even funnier.

Thelonious Armstrong compiled a list of some of “Adam West’s Funniest Quotes as Batman”. Here are a few of them. You probably have a favorite. It’s amazing how they relate to today’s global Gotham…

Batman POW 2Batman SPLATT!

1. “It’s obvious. Only a criminal would disguise himself as a licensed, bonded guard yet callously park in front of a fire hydrant.”  Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin need to be tied to fire hydrants and forced to watch old Batman TV episodes.

 2. We’ve come a long way from the Prime Minister’s exploding cake. Or have we?” Actually Dear Hearts,  we are not even close. Political  character assassinations have become a way of life. In some ways, Mitch McConnell has become the Martha Stewart of exploding cake…

Mitch McConnell Cake Photo

3. “A reporter’s lot is not easy, making exciting stories out of plain, average, ordinary people like Robin and me.” As Comrade Trump and Fox News never tire of telling us, media needs grist for its never-ending 24/7 mill. As Vladimir Putin’s minions at RT would tell you, hacking makes it a hell of a lot easier.

4. Robin: “You can’t get away from Batman that easy!”

Batman: “Easily.”

Robin: “Easily.”

Batman: “Good grammar is essential, Robin.”

Robin: “Thank you.”

Batman: “You’re welcome.”

Batman and Robin 2

Never has there been a greater need for both civility, and good grammar. Bigly! Canadian, American and European politicians are constantly breaking new ground in nastiness. In the Ukraine, they have all-out brawls. But No One has destroyed civility and good grammar with greater zeal and success, than the Traitor-In-Chief, Fake President Trump. Because he is a Very Stable Genius…

Ukraine Parliament 1  President Trump Holds Rally In Phoenix, Arizona

5. “Yes, he moves very quickly for an overstuffed and unlikely Egyptian Pharaoh”  THIS is my new go-to description for Don the Con… with apologies to the late Victor Buono.

Batman Pharoah

6. Robin: “Let’s go!”

Batman: “Not you, Robin. They have strict licensing laws in this country. A boy of your age is not allowed in a drinking tavern.” Haven’t been in a ‘drinking tavern’ in years. Have left all that to Brett Kavanaugh. Funny how in the US you can do your grocery shopping and buy all the alcohol you need at the same time. Here in Cantada, well British Columbia to be exact, we have to go to the government liquor store to buy  champers and single malt whisky. But I digress…

Batman Robin in a Bar

7. Batman “Catwoman, I find you to be odious, abhorrent, and insegrievious.” Don’t know about you, but I just adore that word insegrievious. Am going to make it my word of the month. And how anyone could find the delectable Julie Newmar odious, is beyond me.

Catwoman Batman Insegrevious

8. “Robin: Where’d you get a live fish, Batman?”

Batman: “The true crime fighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin.” Am firmly convinced that this is the perfect metaphor for Hero Robert Swan Mueller…

Batman Words 3 Mueller Its Mueller Time Meme

9.  “It is the duty of every good citizen of Gotham City to report meeting a man from Mars in a public park”. Will keep this in mind while watching jailbird George Papadopoulos lie his way through more TV interviews, or during the next wave of Border Patrol and ICE putting more Children In Cages in Trump Concentration Camps, as “illegal immigrants”.

10.   “No, Robin. With my head sticking out of this neosaurus costume, I might not appear like an ordinary, run of the mill crime fighter.”  Said Trumpanzee Alex Jones, to no one in particular – EVER.

Alex Jones Frog

11. .“Bartender, a bit of advice. Always inspect a jukebox carefully. These machines can be deadly.”  This ad hominem always worked well for Brett Kavanaugh, and in various pubs in Northern Ireland.

12. “Let that be a lesson. In future, be more careful from who you accept free lemonade.”  Dear Trumpanzees and Trump Base, Batman was speaking to you!

Batman Robin Lemonade

13.  (after coming through Barbara’s window): “We would have entered the building by more conventional means, but we didn’t want to startle the tenants.”  Am certain this was meant as a cautionary tale re Vladimir Putin and his army of Russian hackers.

Batman Robin Climbing Bldg

All thanks to the Original Guys in Tights, those fearless and pithy crime fighters, The Caped Crusader and Robin.

They weren’t slick or technologically advanced. They just got the job done, and always saved the day. They brought us joy and laughter. Raising a dram to Adam West who will forever be my Batman, Burt Ward who played Robin, Alan Napier, who played  Alfred Pennyworth, and the rest of the glorious cast of unforgettable characters, May the Road Always Rise Up to Meet You!

Alfred Batman Robin in Batcave

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 11

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Bugs and Daffy Around Campfire

Breaking with tradition, am inducting only Canadians in this blog post. It’s a bit of an education for our American, Aussie, British, European and other cousins. Bear with me, there is more than enough stupidity to go around.

Well Dear Hearts, the American Election had shifted the focus off many Tea Party North nefarious shenanigans. And nothing says Tea Party North like the Conservative Party of Canada Leadership race and upcoming British Columbia election in 2017… with the Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing.

It is impossible to choose which of the flyweights and nincompoops running for the Leadership since Stephen Harper had his hateful arse kicked to the curb, is more deplorable. But the Conservatives are gathered around the campfire and they’re roasting their weenies…

kellie-leitch-chris-alexander-barbaric-cultural-practices kevin-oleary

My personal favorite is Dr. Kellie Leitch. She reminds me of Michele Bachmann, she of the Tea Party Tin Foil Hat Brigade. While Minister for Women under Herr Harper, Leitch’s accomplishments on behalf of her Canadian sisters were stunning. The high point was undoubtedly the removal of the 12% tampon tax. Kellie, a grateful nation will never forget your sacrifice! But wait – there’s more! Dr. Leitch stepped up to the podium with colleague Chris Alexander, then- Immigration Minister, to propose that Canadians rat-out each other and report on Barbaric Cultural Practices. I kid you not. Inform on your Muslim and other “foreign” neighbors.This was part of the fear-mongering hysteria the Conservatives whipped up as Election 2015 neared.

It turns out Dr. Leitch was just getting warmed up. Oblivious to the quote “physician heal thyself” she is running for the Leadership of the Canadian Conservative Party, in part on a platform she likes to call screening immigrants for anti-Canadian values. Does that sound vaguely familiar? It should.

In a tip of the hat to Donald Trump, bombastic, bloviating, bullying business buffoon Kevin So Bleary of Shark Tank fame, has thrown his hat in the ring, as have many others incompetents.

michelle-stilwell peter-fassbinder

There is a special place in Hell reserved for British Columbia’s Minister of Social Development Michelle Stilwell and her colleague Peter Fassbender, Minister of Everything Else including Translink, our regional transportation network. Fassbender ground teachers into the dust as Education Minister. Just when you thought Donald Trump had set the bar as low as it could go by refusing to rent to African-Americans in the 70’s and 80’s and then courting their votes in the recent election … along comes Tea Party North, British Columbia branch.

Taking yet another page from the Stephen Harper – Joe Oliver  balance-the-budget playbook, Premier Christy Clark’s minions clawed back Disability Bus Passes from over 3,500 needy people. This forced people to choose between having enough food to eat or do without public transit. At the same time, the Ministry pretended they were increasing Income Assistance (Canadian welfare/The Dole) rates  that had been frozen for over the past 8 years, even as the cost of living rose dramatically during that time.

But wait – there’s more!  Then the BC Liberals launched relentless TV ads crowing about how fiscally responsible they are – with a huge budget surplus, nearly a year out from the election. It doesn’t get more cynically opportunistic than this, balancing the budget on the backs of the most vulnerable. But wait – it does! They launched their new election slogan “British Columbia – The Future Is Here“. Well, I say NO. It is fucking NOT, if you happen to be poor and disabled!

site-c-dame kinder-morgan-march-vancouvver

Don’t get me started on Site C Dam or the Kinder Morgan TransMountain Pipeline and Petronas LNG tanker terminals. British Columbia has some of the most breathtaking natural habitat in the world and it is under siege by Big Oil and Gas and other corporate entities. Will do another blog post about that shortly. Gawd, I need a drink. Fittingly, the BC Conservatives-In-Liberal-Clothing make me want to cry in my beer, then deny me the beer to cry in.

Rare white kermode bear mother and cub in the Great Bear Rainforest, British Columbia, Canada - Nov 2014 christy-clark-royals

Would someone please explain to Betty Battenberg that Christy Clark did NOT deserve to receive an award at Buckingham Palace for saving The Great Bear Rainforest! The Great Bear Rainforest has been saved in spite of – not because of her. And it is not out of the woods so to speak, as she and the BC Liberal Caucus continue to allow annual bear hunts of endangered grizzlies in an elaborate bait-and-switch license scam.

Am stopping here before my brain explodes – the smoke is actually coming out my ears. And you thought it was easy being Canadian, eh.

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 10

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

boris-and-natasha1

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbstruck, dumbfounded and dumbfucked. DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. That should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor, for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

Dear Hearts, have spent much of the last two weeks curled up in a fetal ball, unable to come to grips with the fact that America has a new President-Elect – and it is Donald Trump. Am inducting Don The Con as our RCIHOF Lifetime Achievement winner.

Election 2016 has sucked the life out of me, and am sure many of you too. The corrosive divisiveness of Trump’s campaign rhetoric, combined with the avalanche of dezinformatsiya that culminated in the unprecedented interference of FBI Director James Comey at the 11th hour, was too much to bear. Oh yes, there is also the matter of the Hillary Clinton winning the Popular Vote by the largest margin in history… and the Electoral College.

trump-obama

American mainstream and cable media disgraced themselves over the past 18 months by responding to all the dog-whistles,conspiracy theories and fake news stories. They overlooked the BIGGEST story of the century. I have my own conspiracy theory, please indulge me here. I believe that Vladimir Putin compromised Donald Trump, Julian Assange ergo Wikileaks, and others in and outside of the US government, to subvert the results of the American Election. How convenient that NSA whistleblower/traitor Edward Snowden is now living in the Moscow area.

It hit me when I was lying on the sofa, listlessly channel surfing to numb the pain. I started watching old reruns of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.Who knew Rocky and Bullwinkle were prescient when they introduced us to Fearless Leader, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale from 1959-1964. What we fell in love with as children is now an eerie but delicious metaphor: Putin is Fearless Leader, bent on nothing short of total World Domination; Trump is his inept pawn and buffoon Boris Badenov and Melania Trump is the Putin honey-pot Natasha Fatale.

boris-and-natasha1

Putin: I put my evil genius mind to work At last I have the answer

Melania: You are so bad you’re good!

Trump: It is good to be bad!

Speaking of being compromised by Putin, Green Party Leader  Jill Stein and Trump National Security Advisor pick Lt. General Mike Flynn joined Fearless Leader in Moscow for a propaganda soiree,earlier this year. What could possibly go wrong with that? Governor Gary Johnson didn’t need any help from the Kremlin to sabotage his own pathetic campaign. Who can forget his “What’s Aleppo?” moment. Both he and Stein managed to syphon off a small percentage of the vote from Hillary Clinton. Many of those angry Bernie Sanders protest voters helped Putin hand Trump the victory on a platter. And how about those voting machine hacks…

flynn-putin-moscow

So now, we have the new dog and pony show with Jill Stein soliciting millions of dollars to force a recount in at least three swing-states and a panic about the Electoral College confirmation on December 19 . Frankly, I don’t have enough cases of single malt on hand to make it through until then.

What if the election results are overturned? What if Trump is disqualified for any of a thousand reasons before Inauguration Day in January??? The thought of a potential Mike Pence presidency is equally terrifying – perhaps that was the plan all along. All I see when I look at that man is a white sheet with pointy hood…

mike-pence-conversion-therapy-meme

And so we lurch from day to day and crisis to crisis as Cirque Du Toupee rolls on… a whirlwind of chaos, leaving total destruction wherever it goes. The GOP has been hijacked by its most racist, homophobic, evangelical, misogynist elements – or maybe it has reverted to its true form. A narcissistic, bombastic, bloviating, bullying buffoon who cannot stop looking in the mirror at his own reflection may indeed become the 45th President of the United States. Would somebody please wake us from this horrific nightmare!

dt-putin-mirror-david-horsey

 

Many Thanks to David Horsey @davidhorsey  for his Trump/Putin cartoon and  for his Mike Pence meme

 

Miss Myrtle’s Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame Part 9

Illegitimi non carborundum – Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Here for your edification and enjoyment are yet more Inductees into the Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame. These are the folks who leave us dumbfounded, dumbstruck and dumbfucked, in no particular order:

DISCLAIMERS: Any picture/Inductee duplication is purely intentional. You may also notice that the majority of Inductees are men. Dearies, that should require no further explanation. This blog post includes text and photos…because a picture is worth a thousand words.

SPECIAL THANKS to Colonel Morris Davis, former Guantanamo Chief Prosecutor for creating the phrase Rectal Cranial Impaction

twitter-logo

F**K TWITTER! 

There, I’ve said it. In the strongest terms possible. Miss Myrtle does not use foul language unless there is no other choice.

Have officially inducted Twitter into The Rectal Cranial Impaction Hall of Fame, and am devoting the entire blogpost to them.

For the second time in 6 weeks Twitter has seen fit to lock my account. Was unable to tweet the Vice Presidential Debate last night, or anything today. The last time this happened, the account was down for 72 hours.

Just received the following  email from Twitter Support illuminati. They state my account has been unlocked. IT HAS NOT.

@MissMyrtle2

Hello,

Your account is now unlocked, and we’re sorry for the inconvenience.

Twitter has automated systems that find and remove automated spam accounts and it looks like your account got caught up in one of these spam groups by mistake. This sometimes happens when an account exhibits automated behavior in violation of the Twitter Rules (https://twitter.com/rules).

Again, we apologize for the inconvenience. Please do not respond to this email as replies will not be monitored.

Thanks,

Twitter Support

I stand accused of exhibiting “automated behavior” – a crime obviously punishable by a slow and excruciating death in earlier times. Twitter is a legend in its own mind, and as such has insulated itself from dealing with its pesky users on a true Customer Service basis. You cannot speak with a Twitter human you must use their on-line forms to plead your case and they will get back to you whenever they feel like it.

Dear Twitter, One Algorithm Does NOT Fit All. 

Had just sent a very strong tweet to Donald Trump surrogate General Flynn and not long thereafter the account was blocked. Had also sent multiple tweets to the GOP, Senate GOP, House GOP, Speaker Ryan, Reince Priebus (whose name reminds me of a stray pubic hair), Trump Campaign Manager Kellyanne Conway, Trump surrogates Newt Gingrich (never trust a grown man willingly going through life with the name Newt) Governor Chris Christie and others.

Have also been tweeting about Vladimir Putin and Sergey Lavrov regarding the bombing of Syria and its children, into oblivion. And Russia’s aggression in Ukraine/Crimea.

So here is the thing. ANYONE who believes that the Russian hacking and monitoring of the US election and beyond, is not a reality and a SERIOUS one, needs to rethink that position.

There is an insane madman out to control the World, and for once, I am not talking about Donald Trump. Vladimir Putin has crawled forth from a primordial swamp and is determined to Make Russia Great Again. Which in his case means Back To The Gulag.

In World Wars One and Two, the enemies were clear, The Kaiser, Adolf Hitler. During the Cold War it was Stalin. Now, the Enemy is hidden. Cyber warfare has turned the battlefield upside down and no one has used this more astutely for greater self-interest than Vladimir Putin. He and China have turned cyber warfare into an art-form.

Throw into this toxic brew the recent explosion of social media and its global impact, and you have set the stage for an ongoing drama. Social Media has driven the 24/7 news cycle – not the other way around. It disseminates information and dis-information at the speed of light.

Dezinformatsiya is an old KGB term for spreading false information of all kinds, to undermine your enemy. One of my favorite authors, John Le Carre, created one of the greatest unglamorous, brilliant and world-weary spies of all time, George Smiley. Smiley oversaw the British effort to shut down The Soviet Union’s Cold War spy apparatus.He was a metaphor for the decline of the British Empire, amongst other things.

The Cold War never really ended, despite what Reaganites would have you believe. It has just entered a new and equally dangerous phase. Former KGB agent Vladimir Putin has assassinated or disappeared all serious Russian opposition at home and abroad, to make himself Emperor For Life. He is using cyber warfare to manipulate the US Presidential Election, in addition to supporting his candidate for President, Donald Trump. That is a whole other discussion for another time.

My questions for Twitter are this: Have you been compromised by Russian hackers in the following ways:

  1. They create spam  characteristics for Twitter Accounts that are critical of Russia and Vladimir Putin. You lock these accounts.
  2. They ficticiously report abuse by Twitter Accounts that are critical of Russia and Vladimir Putin. You lock these accounts.
  3. What are you doing to prevent AND deal with this.
  4. Can you assure users that they can trust Twitter to deal with this.
  5. Why do you give Twitter users no recourse to deal with their accounts being  locked other than online forms that are rarely responded to efficiently or effectively.

Dear Jack Dorsey – One Algorithm Does NOT Fit All

 

In Praise of Political Cartoonists Part 1

As a wee girl from Glasgow, Scotland growing up in Toronto Canada and ending up living in Vancouver, always loved comics. Beano, Archie, Superman, Batman…the list was endless.

Was a huge fan of Saturday morning cartoons on the telly. Even as a kid, was convulsed by the brilliance of Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies. Chuck Jones and Bugs Bunny‘s “What a maroon!” remains one of my favorite sayings to this day.

The teenage me grew to love Mad Magazine

As my interest in Canadian, American, British, Australian and global politics evolved, became aware of the art of the political cartoon, and I was hooked. A cartoon is after all, a picture – whether static or celluloid. And a picture is indeed worth a thousand words.

Political cartoonists have always been our voice and our conscience

Nothing made this clearer to me when 25 years ago, a dear friend loaned me his original folio of political cartoons by the great British caricaturist James Gillray, who was born in 1757. I was gobsmacked! Remember spending an entire 24 hours going over the large book, page by fragile page, referencing the illustrations to help me understand their meaning. In addition to being brilliant, flamboyant and very funny… these beautifully colored pen and inks (with some watercolors) were extremely daring. His toon of Napoleon and William Pitt carving up the world is even more relevant today than it was then!

Gillray’s predecessor, William Hogarth, was born in 1697. Hogarth was “a painter, pictorial satirist, social critic and editorial cartoonist. His work ranged from realistic portraiture to comic strip-like series of pictures called “modern moral subjects”.

James Gillray
Gillray England France Carving Up World
William Hogarth
Hogarth The Marraige Contract

Caricatures go back as far as The Renaissance and Leonardo Da Vinci b.1452 … He brilliantly used distorted features to mock his subjects.  Visual protest is evident in Lucas Cranach‘s work during The Reformation in Germany  b.1472

Leonardo Da Vinci
Da Vinci Caricature
Lucas Cranach
Lucas Cranach Anti-Christ

     

Thomas Rowlandson, born in England in 1756, never missed a beat in satirizing the socio/economic/political scene… from the thoughtful to the naughty

Thomas Rowlandson Portrait
Thomas_Rowlandson_The_two_Kings_of_Terror
Thos Rowlandson 5
rowlandson-thomas--eine-szene-aus-der-farce-citizen-793031

Ben Franklin, b.1706 was a true Renaissance Man himself, Ben Franklin’s Join or Die is a masterly cartoon of the times. Harper’s Weekly Review featured the caricatures of men like Alfred R. Waud who captured the tragedy of the Civil War

BenFrankin
Ben Franklin Join or Die Cartoon
Alfred R Waud
Civil WarCartoon Massacre of the Innocents at New Orleans 1866

Thomas Nast b.1840, was considered The Father of The American Cartoon. He captured both the corruption of Reconstruction and Tammany Hall.

Thomas Nast Pacific Chivallry
Thomas NAst BOss Tweed

Louis Dalrymple b.1868 depicts Teddy Roosevelt‘s New Diplomacy, embodying the iconic “Speak softly and carry a big stick”, for Puck Magazine in 1905. E.W. Kemble b.1861 who illustrated Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, also worked for Harper’s Weekly Review penned Roosevelt’s final frustration with “Old Man Ananias” in 1910.

Roosevelt New Diplomacy
Teddy Roosevelt Election

World War 1, World War 11:   Frank Henry Townsend complimented Britain’s Punch Almanack’s roster of illustrious cartoonists. Even our beloved Dr. Seuss, Theodor Seuss Geisel, and Bill Mauldin created wartime cartoons.

Ww1 Cartoon / Punch
WW2 Dr Seuss
Lincoln Bill Mauldin

Vietnam Anti-War Cartoons:  North Carolina-born cartoonist Doug Marlette was killed in a car crash in 2007. Marlette felt that “Cartoons are windows into the human condition…It’s about life”. His principled take on life was reflected in his conscientious objector stance on the Vietnam War in some of the most poignant cartoons that I can remember. His long and illustrious career covered the Charlotte Observer, the Atlanta Constitution,  New York’s Newsday and the Tallahassee Democrat.

Vietnam Anti-War Marlette Charlotte Observer
Vietnam Quagmire - Marlette

I AM CHARLIE HEBDO:

It has always been dangerous to be a political cartoonist. Da Vinci risked loosing patrons and the wrath of The Church, as did artist Lucas Cranach. Harper’s Magazine Tammany critic Thomas Nast was threatened by supporters of Boss Tweed. But nothing has highlighted the perpetual risk of drawing for a living, than the recent massacre of artists at the offices of Charlie Hebdo in Paris. This tragedy has shaken us all to the core.

Je Suis Charlie Hebdo has become a global rallying cry. As it was centuries ago and so is now, caricaturists refuse to be intimidated.

charlie-hebdo
Rod-emmerson Charlie Hebdo

Iranian cartoonist, artist and activist Atena Farghadani was arrested in August 2014 for a cartoon that mocked Members of Parliament, depicting them with animal faces. Ms. Farghadani is charged with insulting The Supreme Leader and spreading propaganda. The 28-year-old, described by Amnesty International as a prisoner of conscience, languishes in Tehran’s notorious Evin prison, having suffered a heart-attack earlier this year. On May 19, 2015 Ms. Farghadani was sentenced to 12 years and nine months in prison. It is difficult to reconcile this with the push to collaborate with Iran on a nuclear deal.  We must keep up the pressure on the Iranian government to secure Atena’s safe release. **

Atena Farghadani
Atena Farghadani Iranian Cartoon

So given the inherent dangers, not stellar salaries and relentless 24/7 news cycle, what exactly inspires political cartoonists to pick up the pen or brush these days? There is a far-flung family of artists from around the globe who share their thoughts with us on a daily basis. And of course we in The Colonies are some of the most brutal.

In Part 2 of In Praise of Political Cartoonists, we look at how editorial cartoonists depict the current chaotic global political scene:

Dave Weigel of Bloomberg Politics, calls Donkey Hotey “The Margaret Keane of Political Cartooning” He describes Donkey Hotey by saying “Nast used pen and ink; Donkey Hotey takes public images and alters them into parody or horror. He quotes DK… “I am remixing images, manipulating them and then treating the entire piece as a whole.”

GOP Clown Car Donkey Hotey

Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott continues to provide David Rowe with endless toon fodder. Rowe’s watercolors (the most difficult medium to work in) are brilliant, brutal, and beautiful. Rowe is a Stanley Award-winning Aussie, who casts his paint far afield.

Tony Abbott Balls David Rowe Toon
Donald Trump GOP CANCER DAVID ROWE AUSTRALIA

Canadian cartoonist Michael De Adder, is based in Halifax, Nova Scotia. That fact does not stop him from commenting on the current rise of Facism in America. We are All Americans – North Americans, and what hurts our American cousins, hurts us all…

Melania Crying Child De Adder

Raising a Glass of Champers to Political Cartoonists Everywhere…and Those Who Sail With Them. Long May Your Voices (and Ours)  Be Heard! Long May the Ink Flow!

In Praise of Political Cartoonists Part 2 coming soon

@DonkeyHotey @DeAdder @roweafr

@MissMyrtle2  missmyrtle2@gmail.com

** Please sign and share #FreeAtena http://www.amnesty.org.uk/iran-atena-farghadani-prison-cartoon-womens-rights-activist#.VYo2N_lViko